Love and marriage
As a marriage counselor I have always tell ladies to marry the man that truly have feelings for them and that loves them than the way she does, reasons because in the days of adversity like menopause, pregnancy, menstrual periods, sickness, old age and lots more the man will still stand by them through till to the end. For the lady, any kind act showed her will build up love and make her grow in love the more. As marriage progresses women tend to love more than the way they love when they started. However for the man is not the same. The tendency is that if the woman loves more than the man, love diminishes with the man because of familiarity and other factors peculiar to women; menopause, sickness, pregnancy and value begin to reduce for this singular reason. That is why most men cheat on their wives. So the love should be 55%-70% for men and 30%-45% for women. For it easier for the woman to develop love with time as the man shows care and love while for the man the tendency is that it is easier to diminish in love since there is no enough love for start up.
Further more the man is called to love while the woman is called to respect and follow for the holy scripture says the man should love their spouses and the woman should honor or respect or submit or obey (Eph 5:22-25).
Cultivating love and earning respect
The formula is simple if the woman wants the undying love of her husband, she should play the fool and show diligence and effectuality in what she does. She should show grave sign of respect and politeness. Don’t nag them down or complain too much about what they do and could not do. Know when and how to correct them. Make them always take the lead even if it was your own idea after all you are not competitors but you are complements to one another. You can express displeasure but respect their opinion and suggestions should be made when necessary. In all try show discretion at all times.
Most men are tormentors; they nag than women, complain visually about everything their spouses do, fight and quarrel their women. The woman natural wants to be right or correct at all times because she wants to be valued, cherished and adored, they will feel rejected and not valued if they only see their wrongs. Or when you make them feel they can never be correct. The only way out they will put up defense that can throw away the respect and submission they are supposed to offer the man.
So is simple, if the man wants respect he should show love and if the woman wants admiration and love she should respect her spouse.
A. Avoid using the word you. Whenever you use the word you, it sounds like attacking and it always very normal for one to defend when they are attacked. So always include yourself in the correction. For example, you can say “we should have turned it the other way round; things would have gone well. Or use the word I; for example, I think the way you are handling the issue is not right or say “ I think the issue is not properly handled.
B. Use the sandwich method of correction or criticism; admonishment – criticism – admonishment. The idea is praise them for what they have done well then correct them and again thank them for a job well done. After a presentation, you want to point out where they didn’t do well; first tell them where they have done well and then later point out their wrong and again just say “I must say you did well tonight”
Most men can insult their spouse for allowing too much salt in the soup, what about the plates she has washed? The children she took to school? What of the house that is well swept?
Sex and relationship/marriage
There is no wrong sex only what is wrong is the partner, sex should be for married couple only. The man is always sexual driven than the woman, so if you want your marriage to work out as a woman you must try and satisfy your man at all times, so he does not go out and seek satisfaction else where. Most women as soon as there is misunderstanding at home they starve their spouse of the pleasure. In that case you are inviting trouble.
Sex brings unity and oneness of spirit among couples. Sex should not settle quarrels but settle quarrel before sex so that it can be well enjoyed and cement or concretize understanding.
Period when the woman may refuse her husband sex
When she is pregnant – the pregnancy period is a time she experience all sort of illness and displeasure, so the man should subject the urge and act like a one who no self control.
When she is breast feeding – during this time she is under discomfort and her mind is not settled.
When she is emotional imbalanced – this is when she is tired, worried, unhappy, hungry, and sick, etc. the lady has to be in the mood before sex; for the man little things may turn him on but not so for the woman; she must be in her right mind and excited arrived at her excited state when she is sexually and emotional ready.
When she is in her menstrual period – it is not even advisable for a man to demand sex when his partner is on; not for the sake of the state of the woman alone but for the fluid that flow with unpleasant odor or smell. More so, during this period she feels irritated, any demand for makes her see you as a selfish person.
How to improve sexual life in marriage
o Say romantic words and show concern. In nut shell be romantic and caring.
o Dress cute and attractive when going to work or market.
o Seduce one another mainly at night or when you are alone. The wife may just walk necked at times at home.
o Dress cute and attractive when going to work or market.
o Seduce one another mainly at night or when you are alone. The wife may just walk necked at times at home.
o Settle quarrels before dark.
o Don’t make the man feel as if he is a he-goat, by rejecting him sometimes.
o Don’t be of the habit of refusing your spouse
o When your partner is down, sick, pregnant etc don’t trouble them or sex.
o Try to grow love and understanding
How to correct your partner
No comments:
Post a Comment