There are reasons people marry. Some people focus on the features that are not salient instead of the most important factors that must be considered before you can actually accept a life partner. There are factors or reasons that are actually less important and very infinitesimal on the scale of preference when considering someone for marriage. There are weightier factors to be consider but most young people are carried away be the physical attraction and other outward factors. My mother once said that it takes more than a beautiful face to make it in life. Some of the wrong reasons or standards some people set for marrying are enumerated bellow.
Money
A lady once told me that she can’t marry a man who does not have a fat bank account. I think this is a sign of greed. Never marry someone because of money. These days, young people trade their destiny for money. An offer was made to a young guy that if he marries a certain wealthy woman that is much older than him, he will have a gift of car and some property. The boy caved in the wedding went on successfully but guess what happed, not before long he was disappointed. He actually was in a prison of greed all sorts of uncertainty crept in. today the story is a sore one.
The bottom line is don’t consider riches or make money a criteria. Just look if there prospects for to grow a brighter future.
Beauty
You don’t need me to tell you that beauty fades with time. How does it fade when we have all the makeup and beauty therapy around us? What sustain the outward beauty in the eyes of the admirer is the inner beauty of the one is being admired. Character is the way out. Beauty can actually attract you, but look beyond beauty. Don’t rule out people because they are not as beautiful as you think.
Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman (male also) who fears the lord shall be praised (proverb 31:30).
Recommendation
Some people marry out of recommendation. Just because pastor, parents, or a friend said this person is good then you have enough reason to marry. Please spell out time to make friendship and be close; during which time you asked yourself questions; can I be able to tolerate this person? Can I be compactable with them? Can I have the love, peace and security required for a happy and successful marriage? etc
Don’t just rush and marry without consulting God. Most marriage contracted this way, that I have seen and heard of are itchful. I agree no marriage is itch free, but what I'm saying is that don't create problems for yourself.
Talents/gifts/special traits or abilities
Young people today are carried away because of some special quality certain individuals have. I heard a guy who said his wife must be a singer. So any beautiful lady who can sing, up he goes he rush for them. Not before long he was delivered because he was almost drowned. These qualities may actually draw you close to them but not everyone with special skills or abilities are husbands or wives enough. Marriage should be based on sanctity, integrity, sincerity, all humility, simplicity and above fear of God.
Sex
A girl told the boyfriend that if the relationship must go on then sex must be eliminated completely. Guess what, the boy walked away. This girl was left disappointed because the relationship was sexually active. Some guys give condition of sex before marriage, ladies run away from such people (read an article on this blog on how to avoid premarital sex).
Material attainment/position
Everybody wants to marry the governor’s daughter or one highly placed in the society. That is why most ladies want to marry the choir master because he is in charge. The single pastors receive passes from secret admirers because those people like men/women in position. Hay this is wrong in all sense. Don’t marry someone because of their position or material attainment.
Class/level
I can not marry him because he is not my class, how can I marry a girl from that noble background, can’t you see both of us can not marry you are poor etc, are the words people use when they try to place themselves somewhere that don’t exist.
James approached Jenifer for marriage, he was out rightly rebuffed. After many years Jenifer was still single. One they met in somewhere, James is now somebody just because he has a nice car, when she finds out that James is doing well, she began to make passes; write love letters, call at regular intervals, James could understand the handwriting on the wall and promptly asked her to stop calling because he is married and with two wonderful children.
So when you create a class for yourself, you will be alone there. What you should look out for is if the persons have goals, visions and ambitions and they are God fearing.
Physique
Sometime ago a young girl said she wants to marry a tall slim handsome man. Not for long, she graduated from the university and began to practice law. As I talk to you now she is still single and she is over forty. You know what the lady in question is about the height of a basket ball player I mean very tall. The last time I heard she is now ready to marry a man of any height as long as she will be loved.
Complexion
Don’t marry because someone is fair or dark in complexion. Complexion is out of the hook completely. Marry someone who you can appreciate, tolerated and will ever want to be with.
Tribal sentiments/race
Some people will not want to marry from a particular tribe. I hear parents saying don’t marry from that tribe because of some sentiments. My friend who schooled in the UK once said he can never marry a white lady or anyone who is not from Nigeria. If God is preparing a visitation outside your sentimental environment then you would have missed it completely. Marry someone from love and not from one irrelevant tribal sentiment.
Article by Pst Godwin A. Okoremu
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