Marriage is basically a relationship and we must always bear this fact in mind. There are things that must be put in place to lay a solid relational foundation for marriage. Some couple lay physical and spiritual foundation for their marriage but fails woefully when it comes to relational foundation. This is the key reason why many couples are not companions; they are not friends not to ever talk of lovers. This should not happen in your own marriage and that is why you must lay a relational foundation for your marriage in the following ways.
· Resolve to build friendliness
in your marriage
Before you sign the dotted lines, you must be friends. This may not be difficult before marriage but after the wedding it is another ball game. Unless you resolve to always be friends and you go all out for it, you may never be friends and may even end up becoming sworn-enemies. That is why you must discuss about it, and make plans about friendship in your marriage. Does it surprise to know that more than 85% of couples around today are not friends; some are like cotenants, combatants, competitors, housemates, or even dedicated enemies. You need to consciously plan to become and remain friends. Friendship will make your marriage romantic, interesting, stronger, better and enjoyable. A wise man said, ‘’Marriage without friendship is like a sky without sun’’.
· Openness
Learn to be open to your intending spouse and make sure the person too is open to you. Never marry anybody you cannot freely discuss your pass with and be very careful about marrying any secretive person who cannot tell you his or her mind.
· Truth
Be truthful with your partner and marry only as a truthful partner. Anybody that keeps on telling lies will be too dangerous for your destiny.
· Resolve to do
things together
Decide to do things in unison from your courtship days and throughout your entire married life. Agree to stay in the same room and on the same bed when you are married. Agree to pray together, play together, plan together, eat together, and do things generally together. Agree on this now and stick to it after your wedding.
· Resolve to forgive
each other quickly
on every issue
No matter how much you love and care for each other, you will still continue to offend each other in marriage. Hence, agree to always forgive each other and go all out for it. Talk and pray about it before your wedding. Study the scriptures together on forgiveness; agree that none of you is perfect, hence both of you should expect to be offended and both of you should be ready to generously forgive.
· Resolve never to
return to old issues
A step ahead is to agree never to refer to an old offence, ‘’that was exactly what you did when…’’ ‘’You always do so …’’ ‘’you have started again to…’’
Whenever you settle a case, never refer to it again; forward ever, backward never. It takes discipline and training to do this but with positive mind-set and decision, you can make it.
Disputes and misunderstanding are easily handled if old issues are eliminated. Learn to deal with current issues; they are big enough to occupy you.
· Resolve to communicate
deeply and openly
Most couples talk but only few discuss. Many make noise while only few communicate. If you want your future marriage to be blissful, learn to communicate, talk truthfully, deeply and openly to each other. Without communication in any marriage, frustration takes the center stage. Lay a foundation of communication and agree to be good communicators in marriage.
· Resolve to listen
to each other
Communication is of no use when nobody listens. Learn the good habit of listening to each other. Learn to listen in such a way that you will understand not just what your spouse is saying but his or her feelings about what he or she is saying. Listen passionately, with an open heart and listen with love.
· Resolve to apologize
to each other
Agree to apologize to each other whenever there is an offence. Learn to say, ‘’I am sorry’’ sincerely to each other. This will prevent your marriage from being in a sorry state.
· Resolve to love
each other
Both of you should resolve to do everything to keep your love aglow. Do not allow anything to come between two of you.
· Resolve to always settle your
differences every night
before you go to bed
Never allow the sun to set on your differences, do not go to bed until you have laid your misunderstanding to rest.
· Resolve to always
pray together
Agree to be prayer partners, start to pray together before marriage and continue in marriage. Take every issue to the altar of prayer together because it is at the altar that you can alter all the plans of the enemy against your home.
· Resolve to eliminate
third parties
Marriage is for two; decide it’s always between the two of you and don’t allow anybody no matter how close (fathers, mothers, children, brothers, sisters, friends, colleagues, etc) come between you. The third party in marriage is always a dangerous party, your wife or husband should be number one in your life and not any other person. In marriage, two is a company while three is a crowd.
Resolve to
play together
Great couples that are friends do not just pray together, they also play together. Real dating should start in marriage; the husband and wife should learn to relax together. Crack jokes, laugh heartily, pat each other on the back, and be real playmates.
· Resolve to appreciate
each other generously
Decide to always fill each other’s emotional cup by always appreciating each other. Consciously talk about it and make it part of your daily life. Everybody loves to be appreciated, so use this great key in your own marriage.
Resolve to always carry each
other along in all things
Marriage is a sensitive institution, one will always feel negleted, rejected and unadmired when they feel they are laging behind the other person. In communication and other areas of life, let them feel belonged and important.
I see God preparing you for a blissful marriage in Jesus name. I declare that God will bring you to your spouse who will appreciate and honor you in Jesus name.
I see God preparing you for a blissful marriage in Jesus name. I declare that God will bring you to your spouse who will appreciate and honor you in Jesus name.
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